All This Useless Data

I need more memory. Though I suspect the real problem isn’t storage capacity, it’s a cluttered hard drive. Just as my iPod refuses to load new apps because it’s out of drive space, my brain struggles to add new knowledge because it’s clogged with information – and too much of it is useless data. Not to pass the buck, but it all started with the 18-year old version of me, a guy who was an absolute idiot when it came to loading the mental hard drive. As is common when a person has a Read more [...]
April 14, 2013Permalink 2 Comments

Speed Dating

I ride the bus every day, so I’ve witnessed plenty of folks making amorous advances toward fellow riders – but I had never seen anyone like this guy on the #35. He bounded onto the bus as if he had just arrived at his own birthday party, his confident smile lighting the way as he made eye contact with each woman on the bus while he looked for a seat. The seat he found was, as luck would have it, across the aisle from one of the loveliest women on the bus. His self-assurance was immediately on Read more [...]
March 21, 2013Permalink Leave a comment

So This is What Crazy Looks Like

I had been listening to an audio book called New Stories of the South, a 2005 anthology. I was three stories into the recording when I heard Clairvoyant by Ada Long, a tale that grabbed me by the lapels, pulled me close, and refused to let go. I could smell the carnival food, see the dim light of the main character’s trailer, and I was mesmerized by the central figure of the tale, the self-proclaimed “smallest man in the world.” His commentary focused on the people who paid fifty cents to see Read more [...]
February 21, 2013Permalink Leave a comment

Parsing the Lyrics of “Love Comes Walking In”

Poetic license is a powerful tool that enables writers to paint with a broad brush, to use words like an impressionist rather than a realist. It’s armor against the literalists who expect every I to be dotted and T to be crossed, yet it’s also a handy defense for mediocrity for those who can’t be bothered to self-edit. Personally, I view poetic license the same way I view a driver’s license – just as a driver’s license gives you the right to drive, but not the right to drive on the sidewalk, Read more [...]
February 12, 2013Permalink Leave a comment

Someone Else’s Story: The Test

The world is full of stories, many of which never get heard. Small, amazing moments that flutter by and disappear into the clutter of life. I’ve heard a few stories over the years that have taken hold in my heart, great stories that deserve to be heard. This is one of those stories. Back in the late 90’s, I worked at a service station with Jim, a dad who was pumping gas part-time a few evenings a week. It was Jim’s second job, taken because he had enrolled his son in a nearby private school. Read more [...]
December 13, 2012Permalink Leave a comment

This Team Is Doomed

Commentator 1: Well gentlemen, the recent performances by this team have sunken to somewhere close to mediocre. Do you think it’s time we break out the doomsday hyperbole? Commentator 2: It may already be too late for that. I fully expect this team to spontaneously combust like a Spinal Tap drummer. They have been playing like a junior varsity high school team. It’s only a matter of time before their home city changes its name to avoid being associated with this pathetic excuse for a professional Read more [...]
December 6, 2012Permalink Leave a comment

One Day on the Effing Bus (live!)

I had the privilege of participating in "Humanity on Wheels 2", a night of transit-related storytelling hosted by Kick-ass Oregon History (oregon_history.com) and TrimetDiaries.com. Once again, The Jack London Bar was a cool, cozy venue, one of my favorites in the city. The entire evening will soon be available as a Sprocket Podcast, but for the moment, the ever-splendid Mike Vogel captured an audience recording (bootleg!) of my not-quite-15-minutes of fame. (Please note, this is a story about cussing, Read more [...]
December 1, 2012Permalink 3 Comments

The Joy of Smoking

(#30 in the series, Everyday Stories: 30 Vignettes Inspired by 30 Stranger's Photographs. Find them all here.) That moment when the flame burns the tobacco, the whiff of it hitting my nose at the same instant I pull the smoke over my taste buds? That’s why I smoke. That’s my favorite moment of the day. I’ve been smoking for 13 years, and I still delight in that nearly every time. Not so much in the car, when it feels like I’m sitting in a personal cloud of smog, or when someone around Read more [...]
November 30, 2012Permalink Leave a comment

Driving Test

(#29 in the series, Everyday Stories: 30 Vignettes Inspired by 30 Stranger's Photographs. Find them all here.) Vancouver was seven hours behind them, Ashland still four hours ahead, and Lizzie’s head was pressing a balled-up hoodie against the passenger side window. She had been asleep for about an hour, and considering how little she slept last night after trying to get all of her BC photos onto Flickr, she would be out for some time. That was fine with James. He enjoyed the odd solitude Read more [...]
November 29, 2012Permalink Leave a comment

Tracks

(#28 in the series, Everyday Stories: 30 Vignettes Inspired by 30 Stranger's Photographs. Find them all here.) Henry liked the way the snow shut the city down. Not just the businesses, not just the traffic, but the whole city seemed to stop making noise. Channel 12 forecasted eight inches through the night, which Henry liked because he knew people would being staying inside: Predict two inches and people will take their chances driving; predict eight and people will stay in and see what’s Read more [...]
November 28, 2012Permalink Leave a comment