The Art of Competition

Sunday

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Hi hon. Got your message earlier, glad your flight was good. I imagine you’re at your sister’s now, so I’ll talk to you later, but I wanted to ask a favor real quick. I’m hoping Maggie could draw me a picture tonight. I know I don’t mention it often, but I love Mag’s drawings, and I think they would add a nice mood to my cube at work. Just have her draw it on regular paper, or maybe bigger, like 11 by 17, then take a photo and email it to me. I’ll resize and print the photo at the office. Mail would be too slow, so just have her draw it tonight and I’ll print it tomorrow, okay? Thanks. Hi to your folks. And thanks to Mags! Talk to you later, or tomorrow.
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Monday

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Hey hon. I got your email this morning. Thanks. Mags did a fabulous job on that turkey — it was a turkey, wasn’t it? Maybe a turkey dressed as a vulture? Anyway, thanks, though I was hoping for something that was a little more personal, like it was made for ME, know what I mean? Make it more personal. Hope you guys are having fun — I wish I was there. I love you. G’night to Mags.
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Tuesday

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Hi hon. I keep missing you — tell your dad I’m going to get him a cell tower for Christmas. Anyway, Got Maggie’s picture. Really good. Some of the best colored-pencil chickens I’ve seen. But I should have explained, by making it personal I didn’t mean I wanted Maggie to write “for dad” on the drawing. I mean, yes, I appreciate that, but I meant she should draw something that is personal to us, like from our breakfast adventures, or maybe one of the bridges? Something that’s about US, so it looks like she was thinking of me when she drew it rather than drew a picture and happened to give it to me. Thanks again, and thanks to Mags. Try to call me later.
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Wednesday

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Hi hon. Sorry I couldn’t talk when you called. Busy day at the office, and there were a lot of folks gathering around Reggie’s desk and I had to pay attention. Anyway, thanks to Maggie for the biscuits and gravy picture. That was really cute. But a couple of things – first, the colored pencils don’t print very well from a photo, so maybe you guys could pick up some markers today? Get a nice set, not one of those grocery store sets. I emailed some locations of art stores near your folks’ house. Also, the picture is more personal, but it still just says “to dad.” Maybe she could do a little more? I mean, she doesn’t have to spill her guts, but maybe a little poem or something. Or a HAIKU! That would be even better! Make sure she nails the 5-7-5, because people notice that stuff. That’s all. Sorry I sound so particular. Really love her drawings. People at work are making great comments. Thanks!
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Thursday

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Hey Hon. Thanks again for picture. Those markers are perfect, the photo printed really well, though I wish Maggie had actually written the haiku. I mean, I know you said in your email that it’s her poem, but it’s your handwriting, so it doesn’t look it was written by a child. And yes, regarding your message, sorry, I’ve probably have seemed weird about the art. It’s just — well, remember Reggie? He has that little girl Kaitlyn who beat Mags in the bean-bag toss at the company picnic? Anyway, Reggie’s been filling his cube with Kaitlyn’s drawings and he totally humblebrags about the girl’s creativity, even though she’s not that creative. Like today’s was stupid. How could a leopard hold an ice cream cone? And it looked more like a jaguar than a leopard anyway, and a nine year old should know the difference. The spot pattern was totally inaccurate. But whatever — I’m just sick of him acting like his daughter’s drawings are the same thing as a friggin’ father of the year award. Seriously, his cubicle looks like a friggin’ first-grade classroom! And I know, Mags has better things to do than draw safari creatures who are starving for a little white space. And I know what you’re going to say, and I know you’re right, but he’s so fuckin’ competitive and I’m tired of him acting like he’s the only one with a daughter who loves him. So, anyway, that’s why I’ve been kind of particular about the art. Sorry about that. I Love you. Tell Maggie I’m glad to have her pictures hanging in my cube.
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Friday

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Hi hon. Hey, I only have a minute, but do you know anything about bookbinding? Just curious. Let me know.
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