William Reagan

Some people are vegetarians because they think it’s cruel to slaughter animals. I eat turkey for the exact opposite reason—a preemptive strike against the bellicose beasts. It all started when my Dad (for 25 years the owner of Shaw and Tenney, manufacturers of the world’s finest wooden paddles) asked me to make a delivery to … Continue reading "Thanksgiving and Self-Defense"

I recently read an article that reiterated the occasionally bandied assertion that the future of literature is the ebook. For those who are unfamiliar, the ebook is essentially an electronic book, a glorified, novel-length version of an MS Word document. You pay to download the text, then read it on your computer screen at your … Continue reading "The Book (a love story)"

Aunt: noun, ‘ant, ‘[a’]nt, 1: The sister of one’s father or mother, 2: The wife of one’s uncle. Normally, I don’t haggle with Mr. Webster, but he missed the mark on this one. He makes “Aunt” so clinical, some sort of corporate org chart devoid of emotional connection. Aunt Terry, as she was known in … Continue reading "An Unexpected Goodbye"

An apology ahead of time for the pun in the title. I am going to address a rarely broached subject, and I warn you, this might be uncomfortable. However, society needs its gadflies to shine a light into the darkness, to be a voice of logic amidst overboard fiscal frugality, architectural corner-cutting, and obvious offenses … Continue reading "You’re in all my thoughts"

Summer is the life of the party. Until her arrival, things are quiet. Hopeful, but reserved. Her name is heard in hushed conversations like a rumor, as if her visit was somehow in doubt. Then she arrives, a burst of warm air into the cold-floored room, bright hues bringing life to the gray corners of … Continue reading "Summertime, and the living is wheezy"

I have no doubt that there are a few people who consider me a fool, and while I’d like to think they are wrong in that opinion, I fear some of them may be able to present fairly credible evidence to support their case. (I bought that Jack Johnson debut album—need I say more?)(I thought … Continue reading "I’m thirsty, not stupid"

Let’s pretend you knew nothing about, say, how to make a G chord, and I said, “Well, idiot, let me show you”. I bet you’d be pissed. Calling someone an idiot or a dummy is not only politically incorrect, and not only incredibly rude, but it’s by definition inaccurate. (If you actually met the dictionary … Continue reading "You can’t judge a book by its cover (unless you’re an idiot)"

I like yard sales. Often they aren’t worth the energy it takes to get out of the car, but I still clearly remember a variety of fabulous finds that makes the hope and anticipation worth the awkward walk up someone’s driveway to pass judgment on their belongings while they watch to see my reaction. (“Ooo, … Continue reading "I thought it was trash night"

Several years ago I heard about a law suit (I recall it was in Colorado) brought by a citizen’s action group against the area’s local television networks, the crux of which was that the defendant stations would be required to either: Stop calling their news broadcasts “News”, or Actually report News The prosecution contended that, … Continue reading "I heard the news today…oh boy"