CNFtweets
(140-Character Creative Nonfiction)

The Twitter hashtag #CNFtweets, encouraged by Creative Nonfiction Magazine, is used to tell short, true stories. I'm compiling my contributions to the hashtag here. This page gets updated regularly. Floating atop the sea of day-glo backpacks, the kindergarten parents' t-shirts proudly declare allegiance to aging alt-rock idols. 10-17-17 Hours of urgent scrubbing in hope of duping our guests into believing we don't let the place go until company forces us to clean. 10-4-17 The Read more [...]

Smahten Up

I’m told I have an accent. While I find this absurd – I am the only person I know who doesn’t have an accent – I sometimes see people light up when I say certain words, and it’s usually a cue to brace for the inevitable retort of, “pahk the cah at Hahvid yahd.” Let me tell you a secret: this most famous of let’s-sound-New-Englandy phrases does not amuse anyone from the northeast. This “joke” is a tired cliché, and compounding the insult is our disgust with you for thinking Read more [...]

Stuck

(This true story first appeared at the splendid TriMetDiaries.com.) The twenty-something woman made a rookie mistake, standing within earshot of the old man in the flannel. She probably didn’t know, or maybe she enjoys gambling, but as soon as she planted her feet at the front of the #35, the clock was ticking. There weren’t many clicks before he spoke up. “What’s that in your glass?” he asks, pointing at her mason jar. She looked down as if to confirm her answer. “Chia milk.” “Chia Read more [...]

Karma Rides the 35

(This true story first appeared at the splendid TriMetDiaries.com.) Schadenfreude is the German word for taking pleasure in another person’s misfortune. I was guilty of that today. Every TriMet regular has their personal pet peeves about other riders, and mine is the two-seater, the person who sits in one and occupies a second with their belongings. These excessive occupations are sometimes legitimate — a student with an elaborate presentation, someone treating their office to several Read more [...]